Shattered
by hotbloodedbones
Summary: Ziva makes her way back to NCIS with Tony's help. *Spoliers for season six*
1. Watching Love Fly Away

**A/N: I am so happy I am finally posting this after weeks of not being able to access my word files because my computer decided to hate me. This is one of my first NCIS fanfics I have ever written, though it will not be my last, so I hope its good. The summary sort of sucks, I know, but since it does contain spoilers for the season ending I didn't want to give it away. This story is written in Ziva's POV of the whole ordeal and all the events taken place with her back in Tel Aviv, while my bff (I shall put the information for how to get to her story here once she posts it) is writting Tony's POV back in Washington DC. Well here goes nothing, please comment below. I love getting feedback on my work.**

**Tony's POV can be found in her profile: CastAsideOstracized. It's title is Her Dimonds.**

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Watching everyone load the plane wasn't as hard as she had thought, that was until he boarded, the person she both hated and loved, that's when Ziva realized the big mistake she had made. The pain that was tugging her heart was too much to bear; she couldn't just stand there and watch her new American life, just lift off without her. Not wanting to leave, Ziva turned around away from the plane and just stared down the road tears stinging her eyes. Though she couldn't see him, she could feel his eyes on her. Did she dare to look back? No, it was way too late for forgiveness now; he probably wouldn't even take her back. And could she blame him?

As the plane took off wind whipped around Ziva, causing a few strands of loose hair to fall from her bun and fly in her face. She didn't bother pushing them back, nothing mattered anymore. Her chin crinkled and she sucked in a breath, trying to keep those tears from leaking out. A hand came down to her shoulder and squeezed the nape of her neck. "You are loyal to me now, Ziva darling."

This voice made her cringe always has. It was the soft eerie voice of her father and the head of the Mossad. Gulping back tears she nodded her head, not daring to open her mouth and having her father hear the grief in her voice.

The grip on her shoulder tightened to the point where Ziva cringed a bit from the pressure, "Now, Ziva. Is that anyway to speak to your father? Now what was that?"

"Y-yes father," she said, mustering up enough strength and force in her voice to cover up the pain and anger she was feeling. That seemed to be enough for her father, for he simply let out a small chuckle and lead her back to the truck.

"Cheer up Ziva. I'll even let you drive." Her father said as they arrived at the car. Ziva grabbed the keys out of his hand before he even let go of them. She was in no mood to wait around. She unlocked the car door and hopped in. Starting up the car, Ziva only waited a few moments for her father to buckle up before she hit the gas pedal and accelerated down the now deserted airport strip.

The car ride, for the most part, was quite as Ziva zoomed do the busy streets of Tel Aviv. Her father tried to make small talk but was answered with either silence or small grunts and soon gave up. Swerving into the all too familiar parking lot, Ziva jumped out of the car and made her way to the building, leaving her father behind her. The last thing she need right now was her father lecturing her about trusting 'Americans' and believing that a Mossad Assassin could really fit in with the NCIS team. It was bad enough that she was asking herself these questions she didn't need the leader of the Mossad asking her them as well. She quickened her pace and was soon sprinting up the stairs and through the doors of the embassy, making a few turns to throw her father off her track for a while. Since she had been gone for quite some time she was sure that her room was now occupied by some other assassin but having no were else to turn, Ziva decided to try it anyways. Making a quick U-turn, Ziva retraced her steps and when she came to the front door she made a right. Her room was on the first floor, close enough to her father's office to be easily reached but far enough away that an intercom had to be used.

Ziva's heart was beating fast and the tears in her eyes were threatening to escape, she needed to get into her room and fast. A few more minutes passed by and she made another left down a hallway and then stopped about halfway down. Taking a deep breath she focused her gaze on the plaque next to the door and realized that it was still assigned to her; looks like daddy has been expecting his little girl for a while now.

Swinging her backpack around to the front of her body, she began digging around at the bottom of it in search for something that she hoped she still had. After losing almost all hope of finding it, her hand clasped around something smooth and cold. Dragging her hand out of her bag, she looked in her palm and saw the key to her room. The key she thought she had lost but hadn't. Not bothering to reclose her bag, Ziva slid it back onto her back and inserted the key into the door knob. Hesitantly she turned the key and heard the lock click open. Taking a deep breath, Ziva David, walked into the room where she grew up when she was recruited to be a Mossad Assassin at age 13.

The room was the same as she had always remembered it. Cold. Hard. Lonely. The hardwood floor, instead of looking warm and welcoming, looked cold and dirty. The walls weren't any better, all painted a dull beige with nicks and dings in it from when Ziva had gotten really angry and punched it, or threw something hard at it. The only furniture in the room was a black wooden dresser with a built in mirror, a twin sized bed covered in white sheets, and a black nightstand, equip with a lamp and a simple black alarm clock. The only thing in the room that showed a little personality was the small brown teddy bear that sat upon the bed. This was the only thing that Ziva still had from her childhood, one of the only things her father had let her keep.

Walking over to the bed, she sat down and the bed creaked in protest but soon settled down. Ziva dropped her back pack on the bed and quickly reached over and grabbed the teddy bear, pulling in flush against her body as she breathed in the scent of her childhood. A time where life was easier, the only thing she had to worry about was not getting killed on one of her missions. Not losing a best friend, a partner and the love of her life, having a father who didn't trust her and having her team…no correction, her ex team think she had betrayed all of them. She squeezed the bear until she was sure the head was going to pop right off, due to the stuffing building up pressure inside the thing.

Feeling a bit better she let go of the bear, placing it back between the pillows. "I guess, I should unpack and make myself at home," Ziva muttered as she grabbed her bag and placed it on her lap, the contents willing to spill out any moment.

Reaching her hand in she pulled out the first thing her hand touched, it was smooth and glossy. A photograph. Pulling it out she examined it, not really having remembered packing it, but then again she didn't really pack at all, just took her "gear up" bag from the bullpen since her house had blown up. The photograph was of the team picnic at the beach.

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**So, what did you guys think so far? Please rate and review. (Next chapter is a flashback, just as an FYI :D)**


	2. Team Picnic

_It was a lazy Monday afternoon, well Labor Day afternoon to be more exact and the Director of NCIS had giving everyone the day off, since the lab had been slow and it look like the team needed a break from murder, crime and naval officers. Abby Sciuto had suggested that the whole team go down to the local beach to catch some rays and have a picnic, the whole team agreed. Now here they were, at the local beach, the food had been eaten and all that was left were the half empty beer bottles that stuck out of the sand near their blanket. McGee and Abby were sitting underneath the umbrella playing Scrabble, Gibbs was out on the sand throwing a long stick for Jethro the dog who happily ran after it, and Tony and Ziva were out in the water, splashing each other and jumping over waves, everyone was happy. _

_Suddenly Ziva snuck behind a distracted Tony and jumped on his back, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, a silly grin plastered on her face. Tony let out a surprised gasp and pretended to stumble backwards, causing Ziva to shriek. Chuckling he hooked his arms under her legs and carried her out of the water, piggy back style. They were laughing and whispering to each other that they didn't notice that Abby and McGee had momentarily stopped playing Scrabble and were now looking at them. McGee looked rather confused as to why his two co workers that had always fought with each other were now clinging onto each other but Abby just had a mischievous smirk on her face._

_Reaching behind her she grabbed her disposable camera that she had bought just for this picnic, she slowly got up and made her way to were Tony was now running across the beach with Ziva on his back, racing Jethro the dog to his stick . Ziva's head was thrown back in delight, her eyes twinkled as she laughed. Tony has a sweet sincere smile on his face, a nice change from the cocky one he usually wore, and his eyes had a playful spark to them. Abby stood near the dogs stick, camera pointed and at the ready, so when Ziva and Tony neared her she quickly shouted "Smile" before she snapped and took the picture. _

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**The next chapters should be up sometime within the next hour or so. I just need to finish chapter 3 and I shall put it up. I will post the chapters as I finish them. Please rate and review so I can see what you all are thinking when you read this. :D **


	3. Warm Welcome?

A tear rolled down Ziva's cheek and landed with a soft _plop_ onto the photograph. Looking at the picture, Ziva barely recognized herself. She looked so carefree and happy and ….. in love. There, she admitted it though she would never tell anyone; she was in love with that cocky, perverted Italian that had caused her so much pain and misery these past few months. That's one of the reason they ended their fling..or relationship, whatever you want to call it, it was because he was more than ready to love her, to protect her, to be with her forever, and that scared her. She was never one to commit to anything and neither was Tony, that's why when he said those three words to her she freaked and ran in the opposite direction, always protecting her heart, ending possibly the best thing that has happened to her in a very very long time. Her hands were shaking as she stared down at the picture, of her and Tony frozen in time, happy.

There was a knock on her door, Ziva sat up straight, her heart pounding. "Ziva darling, may I come in?" her father's voice sounded through the door. Shoving the picture under one of the pillows she rubbed the tears from her cheeks and made her way to the door.

"Hello Papa," she said when she opened the door, a fake smile cover her face now. The last thing she wanted was another lecture from her father so she kept her tone light and her infamous smile on her face. She hoped that her father wouldn't pay too much attention to her red eyes or the fact that her face was a bit damp.

"May I come in?" Ziva held open the door for her father but didn't say a word. As he walked to the center of the room she slowly made her way back to the bed sitting with her feet planted firmly on the floor and her hands to her sides.

The room was silent for a few moments, the awkwardness hung in the air and made Ziva shift uncomfortably on the bed, the bed squeaked and her father looked at her. The silence was now broken. "Ziva, pack your bags. You've got an afloat training course that you must be part of." His voice was cool and unemotional, not far from the usual.

"But father-"Ziva began to protest only to be cut off by her father's upraised hand. Obliged she nodded and watched her father walk towards her.

She hung her head, staring at her feet, her body perfectly still, "Be ready in five hours, we leave a dusk" and with that he turned on his heel and walked out the door.

Hearing the door click, Ziva lifted her head, her tear streaked face stared at the door. She couldn't figure out why she had to go through the Mossad training session again, hadn't she proven herself capable at the mere age of 13? Maybe this is what she needed to do to prove her loyalty to her father. Whatever it was she knew that it would be physically straining and therefore she would have no time to grieve over her lost new American life.

Five hours. She only had five hours to unpack, repack, try and catch a little shut eye and get over him. Sighing she picked up the bag that she had tossed onto the floor and dumped the contents on her bed; her black knit sweater, the orange beanie, receipts, her black leather wallet, her toothbrush, a small compact hair brush and her small make up bag, along with a few pictures faced down. This was surely a quicker way of unpacking then before. Walking over to the dresser she grabbed a dark hunter green cami, black cami, and a brown cami. That was all she needed for her shirts; as for the pants she grabbed out two pairs of cameo pants. With her arms full she walked back over to her famous backpack and stuffed the contents into in, and then she opened a draw and grabbed six pair of socks and underwear, stuffing those into the bag. She surveyed the contents on her bed and grabbed her tooth brush, makeup bag and brush, opting to leave her wallet at home since there was not much she would need to buy on a cargo ship in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea. What else should I take? Looking around the room, Ziva made a mental checklist of the things she was sure she would need. Her checklist complete Ziva looked back at her bed, getting ready to zip up her bag her eyes landed on the three pictures lying face down on her bed.

One was the one of her and Tony on the beach. The other was a team picture, taking at the annual Christmas Party. Everyone wasn't paying attention to the camera; they were all doing their own things. Gibbs was off talking to Jenny, glass of eggnog in hand. McGee and Abby were trying to figure up how to put the image of the crackling fire on the plasma screen. And Ziva was standing in the middle of the room glaring and Tony who had just pointed out that they were both standing underneath mistletoe. At the time she had been furious but now the picture brought a smile to her face. The last picture was one that was taken out of her apartment before it had blown up; it was of her, Tali and Ari when they were kids. Without thinking twice she placed all three photos in her backpack, zipped it up and shoved it to the corner of her bed.

Yawning, Ziva got out of her stinky clothes and jumped under the covers, she was mentally and physically exhausted. As soon as her head hit the pillow she was out and that's when her first restless numbness night of sleep began.


	4. A Neverending Nightmare

_It was a bright sunny Sunday afternoon, her only official day off. Ziva lay on the green grass, her stomach on the ground and her head resting on her arms that were crossed in front of her. She was just enjoying the warmth of the sun on her back and taking a nap, waiting for Tony to swing by with the picnic he had planned. The birds were singing and there was a nice breeze out, cooling her off a bit and rustling the trees. She was just dozing off when she heard the crunch of footsteps behind her, grinning into her arms she closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep. "Ziva? Darling?" she could hear Tony's soft voice calling out to her. It would be all to easy to wake up and turn around to face him, he would have to work a bit harder to wake her. _

_Her legs suddenly got cold and she realized that Tony was now standing over her, she didn't know what he was going to do next, but she wanted to find out. He gently lowered himself onto her butt, straddling her but making sure not to hurt her at the same time. He bent over her until his face was right next to her ear, "Zee-vah" he purred, his breath tickling her ear. _

_Without warning Ziva grabbed his legs and flipped them over, so that she was now on top of Tony, "Well hello there my little hairy butt." she said seductively, this nickname being on that she had given him when they first went undercover together. She kissed his lips gently at first but then his arms wrapped around her waist and the kiss got hungry. Tony's hands snaked up her shirt as his tongue ran over her bottom lip begging for access. Being the tease that she was, Ziva pulled away, making Tony groan._

"_The foods is going to get cold," Ziva said with a smirk as she got up off Tony and made her way to the large oak tree, where there was a wicker picnic basket and a blanket already set out for them. Not hearing footsteps behind her, Ziva turned around and she suddenly wasn't in the forest anymore, she was standing in the doorway of her apartment...or what used to be her apartment._

_Tony and Michael were after each other, each swinging punches that came into contact with another. Ziva watched in horror as the fight started to get more violent and deadly. She opened her mouth to yell at them to stop but no sound came out, it was almost like she was stuck in time. She watched as Michael fell into the glass table, and Tony to the ground. Tony just stared at Michael in horror, his face wanted to help him but his body frozen. Michael got up from the ground, he was now bleeding from his side where a piece of glass had stabbed him. Looking at Tony, an evil gleam in his eye, Michael yanked out the piece of glass and staggered towards him, snickering. _

_Ziva couldn't watch anymore, she closed her eyes and prayed for the horror to stop. Tony was right, he had been protecting himself when he fired off his weapon. Feeling the sun once again on her face, Ziva opened her eyes, expecting to see the grassy field again. She was now standing outside, not on the grassy field as she had wanted but on the runway in Tel Aviv, the runway where the cargo plane took off. Looking around she spotted the plane, the Director got on, followed by Gibbs who waved to someone in the distance, bringing up the rear was Tony. _

_Tears sprang into her eyes as she ran towards the plane, wanting to catch up to them. To tell them that she wanted to go back with them, that she would forgive everyone and that no one but Michael was to blame for his death. She ran and ran but she never seemed to be getting any closer. Tears were now pouring down her face as she pushed herself faster, struggling to catch up with them before the plane took off. _

_She heard a knocking sound in the distance, it confused her, she couldn't figure out what was making that sound....._


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